Sticking to Those New Year's Resolutions: A Few Tips

So here we are on the last day of 2011. It's fair to say that it's been a real rollercoaster of a year for me, but starting this blog has been among one of the best things that have happened, and I'm certainly looking forward to getting stuck into 2012!

Like many others I make a couple of new year's resolutions on December 31st each year. And also like many others, I often fail! This year I made two, one that was achieveable but would take more bravery and determination than I've ever needed before: passing my driving test after five aborted sets of lessons due to financial problems; and one that I wanted so, so badly but knew it was up there in the 'pigs might fly' category: saving up for my first dog, Beatrix, along with everything she would need, as well as convincing my family that she would only live in the family home until I move back out again.

I achieved both. I finally passed the driving test despite having lessons off and on for the last six years. I found the perfect, healthy puppy, and she fits into family life so well it'll be hard to take her away from my parents as I make plans to leave again in 2012!




Miss Beatrix herself


The nature of those resolutions has influenced the ones I'm making today. Sometimes it's okay to resolve to have or do something you thought only a pipedream. Here are my tips on sticking to those new year's resolutions - at least into March, anyway!

Tip no. 1: Don't make rubbish resolutions! Pretty obvious, huh? But it's so easy to get carried away on the excitement of a fresh new year with, 'I'm going to get the perfect body, I'm going to get a new job with double the salary, I'm going to meet the partner of my dreams'....blah blah blah... guess what? They're just words! A resolution is something you have resolved to achieve. The perfect body is going to mean going to the gym every day and waving goodbye to the malteasers for the forseeable. Are you really dedicated to everything it will take to achieve that goal? Really? It's perhaps better to resolve to visit the gym twice a week and eat one completely healthy meal a day. And beware of making resolutions where achieving it would rely more on fate than action. If you want to meet your dream partner there's lots you can do to increase the odds, but whether or not they're the one you've been dreaming of is not something you can control. Make resolutions you're truly passionate about achieving. So many people make resolutions at New Year that they'd quite like to achieve, but when it comes to it they aren't committed.




"This year I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair. And go blonde!"

 This doesn't mean you shouldn't think big. They say the person who doesn't scare themself every now and again will achieve nothing and will begin to tire of life. But the bigger, and more impossible the goal seems, the more motivated you need to be to get there anyway.

Tip no. 2: Get yourself an accountability partner. If you make some brilliant resolutions, then don't tell anyone what they are, and you fail, only you will know. Phew! No one to call you a failure! But hold on, you haven't achieved that goal either! Some people are motivated by having someone to coax and support them as they work towards a difficult goal. Others are motivated by the prospect of failure, of letting someone else down or by being shouted at until they reach the finish line.

Whichever group you fall into, you need an acountability partner. Choose your other half, a best friend or relative, and tell them what your resolutions are. You need to report to them at the same time every week, and share your progress and pitfalls. Knowing you are going to be held accountable should help you to stop making excuses and stick to your goal. It'll also help you to focus on making small efforts every day, knowing that every, say, Friday at 7pm you need to summarise your actions to your partner. You could even use an accountability group, where you all share your goals and support one another. It's worked for Weight Watchers members, and could be the key to finally achieveing that dream. And thanks to the power of Skype, you can have a group call however far apart you live. Failing that, just tell everyone you know what your resolutions are. Not a week will go by where someone doesn't ask you how it's going, and you won't want to tell them you failed!




"Yes, yes well my resolution to move into the modern world is going well.
My wireless now has a screen with pictures!"

This year I have chosen my mum as my accountability partner. Mums have just the right combination of nurturing encouragement and fearful wrath if I start slacking!

Tip no. 3: Have a plan. You may know exactly what you need to do to stick to that resolution; your failing is self-discipline. Others, such as getting a new job, setting aside more time for crafts, losing weight or, like me, passing an exam, are going to need some more planning. It's easy to become overwhelmed, so the first thing to do is to buy yourself a pretty notebook. That's right, you get to start your year by going shopping! At the front of your book write down your resolutions. On the next page write down why you want to stick to your resolutions, and how you will feel when you reach your goal. After that, break your goal down into small, achievable steps, with a deadline by which you want to tick off each.

My goal 2011: Pass my driving test!

Why I Want It: For independence, improved job prospects, increased self confidence, because I want to be able to say I've done it at last!

How I Will Feel if I Achieve My Goal: I'll know I can achieve anything I set my mind to, that I can pass my test when others said I wasn't practically-minded, it'll really boost my confidence.

How I Will Achieve It:
Keep putting lessons in the diary so I can't get out of practising.
I'll book my theory test for February so I have to revise.
I'll keep checking in with my friend who is also learning
I'll book my practical test before I'm ready so that I have something to work towards. I can always move the date back if I need more time.
I'll try a driving confidence hypnosis CD.

Keep updating your progress in your diary as you move through the year. It's such a comfort to have a plan behind your goal, because if you stumble you can just go back to it and pick up where you left off. It acts like a safety net, and allows you a bird's eye perspective of your goal. It also helps to write your goals down on post-it notes and stick them on your mirror, your kettle, fridge or in your car. You'll be sub-consciously egging yourself on all year round!




"One can do it, Bobbin! One just knows one can!"
 Her Majesty reports to her accountability partner.

Tip no. 4: Imagine, Imagine Imagine! This tip's marvellous because you get to spend lots of time daydreaming. Imagine yourself on Christmas Day 2012 - it's a fixed point every year. You're sitting by your Christmas tree, having just unwrapped your presents, and you're looking back at everything that's happened in the past year. How will you feel if you've stuck to your resolutions all year round and achieved your aims? Will you be smiling? Dancing? Will you be able to relax and enjoy Christmas more? Will you feel you can take on anything that the next year may throw at you? Will your self-confidence soar? Will your achievement be in the room with you, as Beatrix has been with me this Christmas? Will you be able to look at it and laugh as you realise that you made it happen? That's a really brilliant daydream. To make it come true, look to your diary. You'll know what you need to do. And everytime you find yourself losing motivation revisit that daydream, or think about how deflated you'll feel by Christmas if you don't carry on.



I hope these tips will have you reaching for a notebook and planning some inspiring resolutions, whatever they might be. I'm going to be doing the same myself this afternoon, and will keep you updated on how I get on - nothing like a blog for getting readers to hold you accountable after all!

One of the main causes of failed new year's resolutions is lack of self-discipline. The above tips will certainly help, but I also have a couple of books suggestions:

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway ~ Susan Jeffers. It's a classic because it works! If you want to achieve something amazing but fear keeps holding you back, I urge you to read this book. It'll help you understand why you're scared, and that fear doesn't have to stand in your way.

No Excuses: The Power of Self-Discipline ~ Brian Tracy. He's a guru in his field. I have this book in audio form on my iPod, so I can have a listen for a boost of motivation when doing the ironing or hoovering. I found that the key to being self-disciplined is understanding how it works. Tracy's speaking voice also makes me giggle!

If you want to share your own resolutions for the coming year, drop a comment below - I'd love to know what others are working towards.

All that's left is for me to wish you a very happy New Year's Eve. Eat, drink and be merry! I'll see you on the other side.